I had a seven hour session last night that was boring for the most part but had a very entertaining storyline on the side throughout.
I was in for $225 and was sitting on a $350 stack after about 90 minutes when an UTG raise to $14 gets two callers and I look down to see KK. UTG only had $60 behind so I bumped it up to $74 expecting a call and two folds which worked out as planned. He shows AK while complaining about his luck before even looking at my cards and was getting up to go home when the river A came to award him the pot. By his reaction when the river came you would have thought he won the lotto
The next four hours were mindbogglingly boring from my personal poker standpoint... horrible cards, terrible flops, 3 and 4 bets when I would open with SCs and broadway flops the few times there were enough callers for me to stick around. But the fun part was Mr. Riverace started taking beat after beat. He won enough smallish pots to keep him in the game but he ended up all in pre four times against shortstacks and took beatings each time. I believe they were:
AA vs QJ - QJx flop
AA vs 44 - A235x board
KK vs J8
- running flush after flopping the K
AK vs A2 - 22x flop
The best part of this (and really the only part of it that was entertaining me) were his over-the-top reactions everytime it happened. I'm talking arms wide, eyes rolling, throwing himself backwards screaming "are you FUKING KIDDING ME?!?!?" at the ceiling. It was because of this I decided to comfort him by pointing out that he wouldn't have been there to take the beats if not for his ace on the river but it turns out he wasn't at all comforted by that knowledge
Then comes the kicker... I'm in for $260ish and sitting on $200 (I bring my chips and bring back in to $200 when I get down a bit so it's hard to tell exactly) due to my long run of garbage and Mr. Riverace is sitting on $76. He raises UTG+1 to $18 and I call with QT
knowing full well he had a big hand. I had been so bored and he had been running so bad that I just decided I'm going to try to cap off his night by busting him. Only fitting right?
Okay, the flop comes T73 with two spades and he shoves his last $58 in. The conversation goes as follows:
I look him in the eye and say "I'm only calling this because you're on a massive run of bad luck".
He says "great, you have spades?"
I smile and say "I have spades plus"
At this point I look to the board to see how it runs out when I notice, for the first time, that THE BUTTON HAS CARDS!!! I was so focused on Mr. Riverace that I never saw the button call preflop. He sat there watching and listening to our conversation and calmly puts his $58 in the pot. I am dumbfounded... I instantly put him on the nut flush draw which puts me down to a Q or T to win the pot.
Long story short (too late), a red T hits the turn, I shove, button folds AJ
face up, a J hits the river and Mr. Riverace's eyes are starting to water as he turns over...... QQ!
To his credit he didn't scream or hollar, he just got up and left.
I am NEVER that guy. I am never the guy who doesn't know what's happening elsewhere on the table and I am never the guy who hits a major outdraw in a decent sized pot. But I have to tell you, it felt GOOD to be that guy