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View Poll Results: Rate your online skill:
Dead Money, the vultures are waiting for me to donate cash. 4 4.82%
Beginner, I call with anything. 4 4.82%
Intermediate, I can hold my own most of the time. 68 81.93%
Very Good, I can compete against the best and often win. 7 8.43%
Professional, I can bluff Hellmuth and Matusow. 0 0%
Future World Champion, Lookout Johnny Chan! 0 0%
Voters: 83. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1 (permalink)     Top 
Old 09-15-2006, 08:09 PM
shanghai_sparky's Avatar
shanghai_sparky shanghai_sparky is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2005
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Rate your online play.

Time to confess, how good are you?
Are you a professional or are you just a chip trick artist?
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Old 09-15-2006, 08:22 PM
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noelsarchs noelsarchs is offline
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Location: London, England
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Re: Rate your online play.

I learned everything I know from Yeltzen's recent article.

http://www.rake4poker.com/readArticles.jsp?articleID=3

Okay, since people are always asking questions about how to win Single Table Tourneys, I figured I would post my guide to help you get in the money consistently. In Part I, I'll focus on playing the big hands - AA, KK, QQ, and AK.

Playing AA: Obviously AA is the best starting hand in Texas Hold'em. Because you will win every time with it, you need to SLOWPLAY. There's no sense in getting a 1 in 220 hand and only winning the blinds with it. Limp in and try to suck in 5 or 6 callers. If you are in early position after the flop, you will want to check and goad other players into betting and then call them. If a really bad flop comes that no one is very likely to hit, such as 9 10 J and somebody bets, they are probably trying to steal and you should raise them all in. You are playing on the internet which means that the people you are playing against are capable of using the computer and logging online so they are intelligent and would not be playing cards lower than a Q!!! If you are in late position and you are checked too, this means that the people you are playing against are stupid and are playing bad cards and you should check behind them and give them a chance to make a garbage hand that you will put them all in with.

If you happen to hit another A on the flop, YOU HAVE THE ABSOLUTE NUTS AND YOU SHOULD NOT PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF THE POT!!!!!! Instead, let them all bluff at the hand and just call their bets to the river. On the turn, if a scare card comes (like the K in our example) you will want to take control of the hand. Your opponents have probably made a pair of kings and will GIVE YOU ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO TAKE ADVANTAGE!@@@@ On the river, you should be ready to go all in no matter what comes up. If your opponent somehow managed to win the hand, type "NICE SUCKOUT FAG" in the chat window and click "Post Blind & Fold" and take a 10 minute break before coming back. You just suffered a bad beat and you need to calm down.


Playing KK: You should be very cautious when playing KK. This is only the second best hand in Hold'em, so its value is much less than AA! If there is significant action before the flop, DO NOT CALL!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF AGAINST ACES!!!!!! If there is not much action, just limp in. You do not want to raise and find someone slowplaying ACES!!!!!!!! If there is a K on the flop, YOU JUST GOT LUCKY AND YOU WILL PROBABLY WIN TEH HAND!!!!!!!! However, you should play slowly because all it takes is an A on the turn to RUIN YOUR CHANCES AGAINST AA SLOWPLAYING ASSHOELS!!!!!!! Players w/ AA will NOT FOLD TO YOUR RAISE ON TEH FLOP SO DO NOT RISK IT!!!!!!! If the turn is safe (like a 2 ), you will likely win they hand so you should try to suck more players into the pot!!!!!

If you don't get a K on the flop, then you are IN TROUBLE!!!!! Most people play pocket pairs so you are usually up against a set!!!!!!!!! If there was no raising preflop, BE VERY CAUTIOUS CAUSE THIS USUALLY MEANS SOMEONE IS SLOWPLAYING A POCKET PAIR!!!!!!!! If there was raising preflop, you can be sure someone is playing garbage like AJ or AQ or KQ so you will be save on these flops!!!!! HOWEVER IF THERE IS AN A ON TEH FLOP AND NO K U MUST FOLD BECAUSE UR OPPONENTS WILL PLAY A-RAG THEY SUCK!!!!!! Do not let the hand get checked around by a slowplaying ass which will get you to see the turn which may make you think you are safe just fold outright before any trouble OCCURS!!!!!!!


Playing QQ and AK: I put these hands together because I cateogirisze them the same way: TRASH HANDS!!!!!! QQ is the THIRD BEST HAND!!!!!!!! Remember the old saying!? Third is the one in the polka-dot dress! Do you want to wear a dress?! BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY careful preflop with this hand because players w/ KK OR AA WILL SLOWPLAY AND RAISE U ALL IN IF YOU RAISE!!!! Although if you are on teh button you can raise 2X the big blind to intimidate opponents. Like KK make sure you just fold if a K or A shows up on the flop! Also, if a J shows up GET OUT BECAUSE USUALLY WHEN YOU HAVE A PAIR OF Qs SOMEONE HAS A PAIR OF Js IT JUST THE LAW OF AVERAGES!!!!!!!!! If you are a lucky fish and a Q comes on the flop RAISE LIKE CRAZY NO MATTER WHAT ELSE IS THERE!!!!!!! Even if you lose at least you still have 3 whores!

AK is just complete trash and only newbs play it cause they hear VVP call it "Big Slick - the real hand". You should usually fold preflop but if you really like VVP despite his brother banging Shana Hiatt you should always RAISE ALL IN PREFLOP!!!!!!! There is no reason to make a ***** raise and then cry when an A or K doesn't come preflop!!! If it's SUITED you can raise 9X the big blind but if it's unsuited always go all in! You want to see al teh cards so you have MAXIMUM OPPORTUNITY to hit your A or K!!!


Alright that's part I hope you enjoyed it part II will be up soon! Good luck in your SnGS!!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-15-2006, 09:33 PM
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noelsarchs noelsarchs is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

LOL, sparky calls himself dead money in the poll. That's about the biggest lie and bluff I've seen you try yet.
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Old 09-15-2006, 09:40 PM
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smoore smoore is offline
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Location: Lakewood, CO
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Re: Rate your online play.

Well, the poll is inherently flawed. For instance:

$4.40? I'm "very good"
$22? I'm "intermediate"
the weekly million? "dead money" to "beginner"

so I just answered for where I want to be right now.
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Old 09-15-2006, 09:48 PM
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OnTheButton OnTheButton is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

Intermediate.

Give me semi-decent cards and I can run with the bulls.

But lately I feel like the first option.

The cards still hate me. I can't wait for this bad run to be over.
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Old 09-15-2006, 09:57 PM
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babujit1 babujit1 is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

I would say my play is somewhere between: beginner and intermiediate.
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:07 PM
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gpc gpc is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

After <3K hands I am down about $75. I just have fun with it. Except for tonight where I have been bluffed by 72 and called a flush with my trips.

Okay I'm a donkey.
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:07 PM
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Quads Quads is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

Online: Terrible!
Live: Terrible -1
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:25 PM
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dad604 dad604 is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

Lately, I am the fish. It is getting fusrating, getting rivered most of the time or having the overcard on the turn beat my hand.
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:26 PM
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RaiderJoe40 RaiderJoe40 is offline
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Re: Rate your online play.

Quote:
Originally Posted by noelsarchs
LOL, sparky calls himself dead money in the poll. That's about the biggest lie and bluff I've seen you try yet.
yeah?

I belive him
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