[Crawbag]

I wrote this last night after my online session and when I got to work today thought it I'd share for laughs and for thoses who have been there.

A rant/letter to the online player who plays with daddy's money and thinks he's an aspiring online pro. (You know who you are)


Dear Pu$$y,

I’ve been playing online poker for years. It usually goes in spurts for me, playing 3 months on and 3 moths off. I could never play for more than that consecutively without getting burnt on it. I would play for a while and take a break, when I made my goal for that week, I would withdraw the winnings. All along it’s been a healthy plan and never fails me. I consider myself a live action poker junky. I need, want, and love the live action of casino’s, tourneys and cash games, and clearly this is one of the biggest reasons I don’t play online poker consistently with you!

Playing online poker is great for some people, but for me, I feel it lacks key ingredients to playing actual profitable and competitive poker. For example, a couple of the more obvious things you don’t get with playing online are atmosphere, players playing at actual talent levels, and most importantly PLAYER INTERACTION.

Atmosphere is huge for me. Simple conversations with subjects of Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Foxwoods, The WPT, and The WSOP Main Event, get me giddy like a child. I love being at Foxwoods or Vegas, taking part in the hysteria that goes on everyday in the poker world. I’m also that guy while in Vegas that wanted to check out the “old” strip as well as the “new” strip, (there is something about the Rat Pack, Sinatra, vintage poker chips, and old Vegas that get’s my juices flowing). On a smaller scale, sounds of chips shuffling, good dealers, and great action are necessary for me to enjoy a good session and play at the top of my game.

One of the funniest things I notice playing on certain sites are talent levels of players like you never reflect a player’s true experience level. A majority of people playing 1/2 or 2/4 stakes online are only playing these tables because they are ONLINE and not LIVE. Some, not all of the people you run into in these rooms do not have the ballzs to sit at these stakes live and pull the **** they do inside these rooms. These are the same people that jump down your throat and type all types of negative remarks towards you because you used actual strategy and calculated the odd’s of hitting one of your outs on a straight and flush draw, but in their head you sucked out (this is you)! Sometimes these people are profitable for your stack, but it seems more not. Every hand with these guys ends up like this; $3/$6 NL real Money, you have aces up and you’re thinking one of the hands that would trump yours is rouge 3, but with you pre flop raise of 4x the BB and betting half the pot post flop, there is no way he has a 3 in his hand. When he flips over 10/3 off, you’re thinking of how much of a muppet play it was and he thinks he’s a poker genius for hitting trips on the turn. It just goes to show, anyone with money can take a seat inside one of these rooms and make or break your day.

Player interaction is the biggest thing missing from online poker for me. Part of my playing style is making reads, watching betting patterns, and making decisions on a player’s personalities. Without this you have nothing to go on besides two upside down hole cards on a computer screen. If sitting live and I notice a certain player is a push over, I’ll attack his stack and put him to as many decisions as possible. And as everyone knows, too many decisions lead to tilt and frustration and eventually him re-buying or getting bounced from the tourney.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate online poker, (I just hate you) but in my opinion it doesn’t compare to playing live. Playing in a live casino is the grind. It’s where you play other players you don’t know and put your talents to the test to see how good you really are. So before you go off on a trip about how much money you make online, how your "too good" to play with us, and you have a six figure bankroll, pipe down and move out of your parents luxury loft above the garage and step up to the felt live. I'm sure you wouldn't have shat to say then.

peace out

[STANK1000]

MY TWO YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WANTED TO KNOW IF SHE COULD HAVE SOME MONEY SO SHE CAN PLAY WITH YOU. what site are you on?

[ShadyJoe]

It is obvious you are better than me, but why do you have to call me names?

[yeltzen]

Uh oh!!! HERE COMES THE:

[VARoadstter]

How did you manage to cram so much ego into one post!? Astonishing.

[Crawbag]

Originally Posted by yeltzen

Uh oh!!! HERE COMES THE:

ya I needed that...lol.

[Crawbag]

Originally Posted by VARoadstter

How did you manage to cram so much ego into one post!? Astonishing.

It has nothing to do with ego bro, just frustration of playing with certain players online. I'm no poker pro. Like it states in the title, it's a rant. I think everone has been there before.

[VARoadstter]

Originally Posted by Crawbag

It has nothing to do with ego bro, just frustration of playing with certain players online. I'm no poker pro. Like it states in the title, it's a rant.

Then you need to reread your post.

[Jambine]

Crawbag, I play a LOT of live poker. Fortunately, I have easy access to casino card rooms. I don’t like to play online for many of the reasons stated, and I'm not unsympathetic. But I have a simple solution for you that works really well for me. Don’t play online.

[RTBrandy]

I'm going by the theory that you're aggravagted with the trash talking jerkoffs that love to type how much you suck whne you're playing against them....

So I'm with ya man!! Let the stacks do the talking, not the fingers!!

Thank God for the ignore button!!!