[Wylecoyo]

Originally Posted by Matthew

I am a manager and have 27 direct report. I would never - ever get involved in a money poker game with them. It's plain wrong. It puts the employees in an ackward situation. What if I won? They work for me, the last thing I want to do is put myself in a postiion to take from them and I'm way too competative to throw a game. I would only ever play with peers from work. The supervisors in your game need to realize they are in a bad place and as leaders needs to step out.

I agree with this 100% (I would agree even more if it were statistically possible)

As a leader/supervisor you are responsible to the people who work for you even more than they are responsible to you. It reminds me of an exchange from Band of Brothers which I also believe is 100% accurate about the relationship between leader and follower and/or senior/subordinate:

Richard Winters: These men have been through the toughest training the Army has to offer, under the worst possible circumstances, and they volunteered for it.
'Buck' Compton: Christ, ****, I was just shooting craps with them.
Richard Winters: You know why they volunteered? Because they knew that the man in the foxhole next to them would be the best. Not some draftee who's going to get them killed.
'Buck' Compton: Are you ticked because they like me? Because I'm spending time to get to know my soldiers. I mean, c'mon, you've been with them for two years? I've been here for six days.
Richard Winters: You're gambling, Buck.
'Buck' Compton: So what. Soldiers do that. I don't deserve a reprimand for it.
Richard Winters: What if you'd won?
'Buck' Compton: What?
Richard Winters: What if you'd won? Don't ever put yourself in the position where you can take from these men.

[Jambine]

That is a superb illustration of “why not”

[Matthew]

Originally Posted by Jambine

That is a superb illustration of “why not”

In reference to what?

[Jambine]

Originally Posted by Matthew

In reference to what?

Sorry, I meant Wyle's post above

[Magus 23]

Not to cut things off by any means, but I did just want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who's responded so far. This type of feedback is extremely helpful, both in figuring out how to set house rules -- I think that the written rule is going to have to be don't talk shop; do so at your own risk -- and in providing some concrete argument for setting limits on who can and can't attend. If they want to come to different games, maybe, but not with each other.

I think there's at least a nominal difference between inviting a CEO -- i.e., someone who's effectively removed from day-to-day decisions about an individual worker's career -- and a direct supervisor, and the Band of Brothers example is a fantastic illustration of that.

Thanks again. But please, keep talking. I know I'd love to hear from as many people as possible (though the responses -- and in the very brief time since I posted the question, no less -- have far exceeded my expectations).

[coyote]

Perhaps provide some sort of explanation as to why the rule is being put in place...

i.e. something like "hey guys we're all here to have fun, relax and gamble a bit. Now, I know that this would probably never happen, but talking about shop could create some bad situations back at work, so that's why I'm enforcing this rule, leave work at work, okay? Just a heads up. Now lets get the cards in the air!"

[OnTheButton]

Originally Posted by Wylecoyo

I agree with this 100% (I would agree even more if it were statistically possible)

As a leader/supervisor you are responsible to the people who work for you even more than they are responsible to you. It reminds me of an exchange from Band of Brothers which I also believe is 100% accurate about the relationship between leader and follower and/or senior/subordinate:

Richard Winters: These men have been through the toughest training the Army has to offer, under the worst possible circumstances, and they volunteered for it.
'Buck' Compton: Christ, ****, I was just shooting craps with them.
Richard Winters: You know why they volunteered? Because they knew that the man in the foxhole next to them would be the best. Not some draftee who's going to get them killed.
'Buck' Compton: Are you ticked because they like me? Because I'm spending time to get to know my soldiers. I mean, c'mon, you've been with them for two years? I've been here for six days.
Richard Winters: You're gambling, Buck.
'Buck' Compton: So what. Soldiers do that. I don't deserve a reprimand for it.
Richard Winters: What if you'd won?
'Buck' Compton: What?
Richard Winters: What if you'd won? Don't ever put yourself in the position where you can take from these men.

WOW.

This exact conversation from the BoB show was running around in my head as I read the original post.

Spooky how a few words can stay with you for a LONG time and mean so much.

This exemplifies that a GOOD boss should not put himself into a position where a choice like is being discussed here should need to be made. As a boss, no matter how fun the "Temporary Secretary Pool Party & BBQ" may sound, he/she should not attend.