Tropicana Las Vegas presents: the Jamie Gold Poker Room (srsly)

jbutler16 · Tweet this Post! #1 12-13-2011, 10:57 AM

Tropicana Las Vegas Announces Launch of Jamie Gold Poker Room | PokerNews

commence lol in 3...2...1...

guinness · Tweet this Post! #2 12-13-2011, 11:05 AM

The word "onion" doesn't appear in the link anywhere. I think it would be hysterical if the Flamingo responded by opening a Jerry Yang room.

jbutler16 · Tweet this Post! #3 12-13-2011, 11:15 AM

yeah i'm waiting for the press release: "Truman's House presents...the Drunktard Jerry Poker Room!"

guinness · Tweet this Post! #4 12-13-2011, 11:30 AM

Even though I have been deserving of a Drunktard Guinness title, I always crack up when I read or hear "Drunktard Jerry".

jldecarlo · Tweet this Post! #5 12-13-2011, 11:39 AM

Drunktard Jerry. Blast from the past. LOL.

Back on topic: Jamie Gold Poker Room!? I'm speechless.

L

jbutler16 · Tweet this Post! #6 12-13-2011, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jldecarlo

I'm speechless.

i know - that picture of him with that sh*t-eating grin in the pokernews article is tilting in itself. i can only imagine the monkey-tilt i would go on if i was having a huge losing session in that room and had to look at his mug everywhere.

daschuck77 · Tweet this Post! #7 12-13-2011, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guinness

The word "onion" doesn't appear in the link anywhere. I think it would be hysterical if the Flamingo responded by opening a Jerry Yang room.

Oh my gosh, imagine all the Tebowing going on as donks chase their draws or pray for their hands to hold up in that room. They'll just call it 'Yanging'.

Jamie Gold...what an unpalatable cocktard.

bergs · Tweet this Post! #8 12-13-2011, 01:23 PM

I translated some of the statements in that article for your review:

“We’re thrilled to welcome Jamie to the Tropicana family,” stated Melissa Steinberg, vice president of entertainment and casino operations at Tropicana Las Vegas.
Translation: Our property is 25 minutes from being bought by Steve Wynn, imploded in a YouTube movie, and rebuilt into a 45 story tower that won't sell more than 1/3 of it's footprint, so whatever. Jamie Gold, Jamie Foxx, Barry Goldwater - does it really f*cking matter?

“This new poker room is sure to not only create unique and memorable gaming experiences for our guests.....
Translation: "Dude, I played in this shitball poker room with this grinning retard walking around with a WSOP bracelet, probably luckboxed the $1000 NLHE event, and he played $1/2 with us and donked off like $2150, OMG what a stupid retarded fish. I think I caught Hepatitis C handling sitting in those chairs though. And the whole place smelled like turpentine, which was weird".

".....but will also give them the opportunity of a lifetime to play with one of the most iconic poker players of our time.”
Translation: "Who the f*ck was that grinning retard?"

“This deal with Tropicana covers everything I could have ever wanted in a relationship with a major Las Vegas Strip resort and it will serve as my anchor and the conduit to all of my future poker and philanthropic endeavors" said Gold.
Translation: This deal with the Tropicana is the only thing I could get after Bill's Gamblin' Hall and Saloon turned me down. At least I can brag to my Hollywood friends that I'm such a balla degen. And if Steve Wynn doesn't buy this dump, I can purchase it for a cool $2M and give it away to the homeless. Hollah!"

Gold said. “I really couldn’t be more excited!”
Translation: I just had a really good poop. Didn't even need to wipe!